The Cracked Catapult Versus A Mellow Sea

Tuesday, June 18, 2024

[Disclaimer; Two Weeks! I know. After talking smack about procrastination and how I was going to overcome it a little bit at a time, here it is two weeks since I wrote anything! What was I doing all this time? In the interest of honesty – NOTHING. Hence the purpose of this disclaimer: What you are about to read took more guts to write than for you to read it. I don’t know anyone, yet, who can appreciate the determination it took for an idea to break through layers and layers of pain, pressure, and boredom, to perform the simplest task.]

Preface: Catatonia

For the last two weeks I developed a routine. I would go to bed very late, sometimes 2 or 3 in the morning, and I would wake up around 8:00 or 9:00 without any idea why I should leave the bed, except for the call of nature.

While still lying in bed, I would make a plan to do things that day. I would plan to do exercise, do some writing, do some work around the house, and do some reading. Most days I did not go to the beach, or do any exercise, or do any writing, or do any work around the house. Most days I stared at the screen on my laptop computer.

My addiction to Quora, and now Facebook as well, is not a real addiction. I have made some strides in resisting Facebook, you know, just to see if anyone liked what I said. And I have made greater strides in resisting Quora. I still get trapped into replying to some questions or commenting on other people’s answers. At the same time, I tell myself this is wasting time, nobody cares what I have to say on Quora.

When logic and intension clash with laziness, intension is supposed to win. And it always has in the past, with me. But now, I don’t even know how to explain what’s happening. After I get past emails and social media, I still want to know what is happening in Israel and America, and so I start seeing videos. Then, some detail grabs my attention and I go off and research that detail, and that leads more articles to read and more videos to see.

And sometimes it leads to watching a lengthy video, which I pause sometimes to get something from the kitchen. All the while that I am wasting time like this, I am very aware that I am wasting time, and I really want to stop the videos, go outside, and get something accomplished. At least I should be reading instead of seeing videos.

I think it is like catatonia. I am aware of everything I am seeing and hearing, while I do not have the power to move away from the computer and do what I actually want to do. I don’t think it is a lack in quantity of motivation. It’s a lack in quality of motivation.

Yeah, it’s like my will is paralyzed.

The Catapult

For years I have read books, listened to cassettes, and watched videos about personal development, self-help, law of attraction, that sort of stuff. They all have the same message, basically, “Be the best version of yourself.” Every coach and teacher thinks he has a unique way of getting to that best version of yourself. When you listen to them all, and try to do what all of them say, you may find yourself working harder and more hours on their courses than on yourself.

Then again, there is always the chance that your experience will be completely different from mine, and that you will be one of the great success stories. And there is even a chance I may become one of those success stories.

The most popular performance coach is Anthony Robbins. I think I got his audio cassettes back in 1990. Over the years I have seen bits and pieces of his live event where he gets people moving and dancing and walking barefoot across burning coals. It’s always very exciting, listening to Tony Robbins. He always made me believe that I could become really successful and live the life of my visions and dreams. In reality, things did not work out that way for me.

Last week, Tony Robbins and his partner, Dean Graziosi held a massive online event called “The Game Has Changed.” Three days in a row, Dean Graziosi was the main host, and spoke about having break-through moments, and taking charge of your life, etc. etc. Guest speakers also told their stories. Anthony Robbins appeared on the first day and the third day, and as usual he rocked the room.

I have to admit, these guys woke me up and catapulted me out of my stupor. I became ready to believe again that even I could be successful and live a life of my visions. I knew before the event started that they were selling something. And I sort of knew I wouldn’t buy it. But I kept my mind open.

They were masters at manipulating the audience. It was a massive Zoom conference, so they frequently turned to their screen to say, “I see you, name.” They used bouncy music when they wanted everybody to dance, and they used more dramatic music when they told stories about people overcoming overwhelming odds to become millionaires today.

The Cracked Catapult

As I said, I was catapulted out of catatonia for awhile. But then the catapult broke, it cracked right down the middle, maybe under my weight, or maybe because it was unsolid.

During the webinar I jotted down little notes here and there when a speaker said something inspiring. These amounted to talking points that started sounding like cliches after awhile. Nevertheless, they were reminders of why I should get up and start moving and get over this catatonic state and start accomplishing again.

After the three day event, I continued to get emails from Dean Graziosi and other event organizers. It was to be expected as they have a product to sell. They were selling an online platform with all the tools and features to build your own business.

On Monday, suddenly an email comes saying there was another video to see; this time it was a story of someone who suffered hardships but went on to become a successful businessman. The event organizer who sent the email said this story made her cry for a long time.

I clicked the link to the video. Immediately there was a video with Dean Graziosi all super-enthusiastic and excited. He spoke a bit, and then dramatic music began to play, and then it all hit me. I am not affected by the manipulation because the whole event was structured like a church meeting – which does not speak to me the way they intend.

The catapult was cracked. Dean Graziosi could not lift me out of catatonia any more.

A Mellow Sea

At the sandy beach behind my house, there is a slab of concrete back by the trees. I have claimed this space as my own. For every morning that I go to the beach for swimming and exercise, this is where I lay down a little shawl, left by View, and put my backpack, towel, cold water thermos, and clothes on it. Here is where I sit when I want to stop thinking. I call this little corner of the beach “Playa Sababa.”

This morning I went to Playa Sababa, and after a short swim, I sat down on the shawl-covered concrete slab, and I surveyed the sea and my surroundings. And you know what? With the mellow sea lapping gently at the shore, and the birds all around carrying there own versions singing and whistling, and a slight breeze making its way through the trees that were casting shade over Playa Sababa, I found peace. And I found purpose. I found my place.

The sea has been rocking back and forth for millenia, and it is not going to stop any day soon. Birds, and breezes, and shade from trees have all enjoyed this space since well-before I found it, and they are all likely to continue for many years to come. When I am there, I am as much a part of the scene as the birds, breezes, and sea. And they are all a part of me. And neither Dean Graziosi nor Tony Robbins can change that. I sure don’t want them to.

It was here at Playa Sababa, near a mellow sea, that I was lifted out of catatonia. My mind was clear.

The Mellow Beach Versus A Cracked Catapult

All the years of hours and hours of motivational speeches and self-help exercises and personal development programs that I tried to immerse myself in, were unable to do for me what a few moments at Playa Sababa did. My place was not with all the excitement and manipulations of a superstar event, my place was next to a mellow sea.

Dean Graziosi made one more video, well not actually the last one, for people like me who were still on the fence about buying their new platform. I saw less than two minutes of the video, and made a final conclusion: All those people who were showcased in the weekend event, all those stories of massive struggles leading to massive success, they were very inspiring. To me the most inspiring thing about all those stories of success was this: They all achieved success without this new platform. So why couldn’t I?

I just saved myself $997 a year. I took $4.00 from what I saved and got me some donuts to chew while relaxing at Playa Sababa.

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